Navigating the Friend ship: Smooth sailing or rough waters?

So I have all these ideas about things I really want to just get off my chest here.
The first thing that came to me is the idea of friendship.  

I have had the best of luck and the worst of luck when it comes to the friends I've chosen to have in my life. 
I would never have classed myself as an extremely popular sort of person.  I'm a little shy, and it takes someone else to make the first move, although once I'm comfortable (which now-a-days doesn't take long) I'm your best friend for life.
So I don't have thousands of friends, but who wants thousands of fake friends? For me, the real friends are a select few who you can share your world with.  

I've met many many different sorts of people.  This happens when you travel.  People from all different backgrounds, cultures and races.  If your a traveler you pretty much have to learn to accept people as they are.  Throw away your ridiculous notions of 'normal' and accept that everyone is different and everyone has an idea of what is 'normal'.  Doing this is so much easier when you travel, your in a strange place, if you don't accept people, you'll be alone, and probably you'll have a shit time.

 When you've lived your life inside a bubble you call 'home' - and I know this is slightly biased coming from me, a world traveler, but you CANNOT say you've 'experienced' the same thing if you've moved cities in the same country.  I agree, you have experienced something, but it's not a culture shock, and it won't break your comfortable bubble of what you think is normal.  
If your from the north or the south of the UK yes, we have different ways of saying things, a slightly different humor  but as a country as a whole, we have this socially acceptable 'norm' which we all conform to whether we like it or not.  Whether we realize it or not.  When you leave that protective bubble you see people who follow different rules, and who don't really care what your rules are.  So you either accept them and have a good time, and lets face it, broaden your mind, or you reject it, go home, back to the suburbs and live your comfortable life inside your bubble again.  

Anyway back to the topic in hand.  Friendship.  What I have found and what I have learnt all comes down to a simple thing.  

True friendship, the kind that never disappears, the kind that no matter how long it's been since you saw that person it's always the same when you do, this kind of friendship is rare, and it is often found in the most unusual of places, formed in the strangest of circumstances.  

Often people think it is the length of time you've been friends with someone that means something.  I agree a history is a history, and should be respected.  But time does not always equal friendship.  Not true friendship anyway.  I have friends I have had since I was a kid, two or three years old.  In fact I have a friend who I was inseparable with from the time of nursery.  She moved to London and got in touch on Facebook   - We weren't really friendly in high school, not close.  But she always remembers me and sends a message from time to time.  I appreciate that.  This is history, and it is respected.  

My true friends, are the friends I've made by mistake, or under strain of necessity.  
I have a friend from the USA.  She's about 10 years older than me, and we've been friends for just under a year.  However I consider this person more than just my friend.  She's my sister, she's a listener, she doesn't judge and she shares her opinion.  She is unafraid to speak her mind.  She is very on my wavelength.  - Our friendship was formed due to a mutual friend, so to speak, and an understanding of living away from home.  

My sister is another of my true friends.  But she's your sister I hear you say, well let me tell you something.  I know a lot of people who can't stand their siblings.  I am lucky enough to actually adore mine.  Yes we are all different.  Hugely different personalities, different views on things, different goals in life, but we are very close, and we have been brought up together as friends.  My sister, out of everyone is my best friend.  -  We don't live together anymore, I haven't lived with her for almost 3 years, and it was very hard at first.  I miss her one of the most, but we talk everyday and we support each other.  

Because of my close relationship with my brother an sister, and because our ages are so close, I have made solid friendships with their friends, people who again are on my wavelength and people who I couldn't imagine my life without.  Even though I don't live in the UK anymore, I still have strong friendships there, and for these people it doesn't matter if I'm there or not, It doesn't matter if we speak everyday or not.  

Some of my friends are people who I never imagined being friends with.  People who for one reason or another, misunderstandings or being influenced by others we didn't like each other in the beginning.  - Thanks to these people this is a life lesson I have learnt.  Never disregard anyone from your life.  Never listen to anyone else's opinion of others, as actually these people could become your besties just like they have to me.  

One friend I have in Bali is probably my best friend here.  Although for the first 5 months or so I was here we hated each other.  Why did we hate each other? A simple misunderstanding involving other people.  We listened to other people instead of getting to know each other first.  Thankfully we started to work together, and put those feelings aside.  Now she is one of my best friends here and I couldn't imagine not knowing her.

I think location is important when making friends, and keeping friends.  However a true test of friendship is when one person moves.  Do you still keep in contact? Sure you can't physically see each other everyday so that's out but does that mean you let the friendship die?  I have had experiences of my friends doing both.
I have friends who have shown our friendship can handle the distance.  Whether its been I've moved to Bali, I've gone home to the UK or they have moved back to their countries.  We still maintained our friendships.  

I have had friends I grew up with, spent my teenage years with, and when I left to travel stopped contacting me.  With no rhyme or reason.  A specific friend I had has done this twice.  

She is a very judgmental character.  Ignorant, small minded.  If you aren't wearing the right shoes she will judge you.  She did this once before, when I was 17, and chose not to go to university, a choice which for me was right on the money.  I wasn't worthy of friendship after that, my life was 'going to be shit'.  

I have to say, I am a very very forgiving person.  Kill someone but tell me you were sorry and it was an accident and I'll probably forgive you.  After 6 months, this person decided they did want to be my friend, so I let them back in.  Big mistake.  I realized this about a year before I traveled actually.  I wasn't interested in the same stuff, I wasn't judgmental and I didn't care what clothes you choose to wear.  I didn't care who your boyfriend was, and I didn't care if you sat on your backside all day instead of going to work.  If you were friendly I was friendly.  

This person wasn't - constantly looking for competition, constantly needing reassurance.  There were times when she would like to point out I 'copied' her.  Please bitch.  This person was out constantly looking to be 'unique'. 
This word actually makes me laugh, BE YOURSELF.  That's unique. 
I never understood why she didn't get that.  
Anyway, I persevered with the friendship, again trying not to judge, and trying to accept that's who she was.  I am not going to lie, after I had traveled for a month she stopped contacting me. It was difficult to always keep contact for me, never knowing if there was WiFi around or not etc, and it did hurt.  To be cut out without a reason.  It drove me mad.  Not because I particularly missed the friendship, like I said, we'd grown apart and we had nothing left in common, but not knowing why the friendship just died hurt when I had still tried despite trying my best.  

This was not a true friendship.  Being friends while growing up had run its course, and there was nothing left.  

So in short my ideas on friendship come down to this.  If the person in hand is a true friend.  They will be there, never judging you, never mind the distance or the time.  Always loving you no matter what has happened in the past, no matter which way you have forged your friendship.  Never judge anyone as you never know who is going to end up in your close circle of friends.  

Peace and love! 

J x